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submit to reddit He is a controller. And controllers who are not in control justify their behavior so they are back in their form of control. Lemme cut and paste: "1/ I am kinda fixated on this girl bc of the challenge" Translation for me? He is the type to lie, cheat and steal a way into a womans bed simply because one of his frat buddies bet him he could not do it. He wants to win, and he do all he can to ensure he does. And then he moves on. "2/ BUT I need to have the upper hand otherwise I become jealous, irrational and a potential cheater (neither of these tendencies I like and I try to hide them from her as it's ugly enough just for me to know I have these tendencies under the circumstances of not having the upper hand I did tell her I'm jealous and it can make me cheat, so she'd better be a little transparent with me)" Translation: Well, because I was "honest" I can fuck whomever I choose because I was "honest" in the beginning. Nothing "makes" you cheat, you CHOOSE to take your out of your pants, and stick it in a woman. And again, "needing" to have the upper hand? control, paragraph 1, Dateheronline. "3/ I am afraid things wear off if I get the upper hand" No, you are tired on NOT having the upper hand so you can leave, already. You have not gotten this conquest, this notch on your "- 'em and leave 'em bedpost. She has you by the balls because she is giving you as good as you get. "4/ I just want to continue having things the way they are it's great with her. I feel great. She does too.. Apparently we are compatible." Bullshit. If you didnt want the upper hand, you would not be here trying to figure out why you are not in control. "I think I have a fear of this ending by her getting with some other dude but she keeps on saying that she's happy with me and don't need to look around but at the same time cannot commit to anything even medium-term.." Okay.. to sum it up? You are afraid because she is not gaga over your, hanging on your every orgasm she is going to dump your ass for someone who can make her toes curl AND she wants to grow old with. Pal, you want things "equal, but some of us are more than equal" to paraphrase a certain Orson Wells book. You cannot stand being in control.

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